Three People Walk Into A Bar…

…And they run into some wise old wizard. Cliche? You betcha. And it has to stop.

Tavern_for_Descent_by_feliciacano

…and it’s super cliché. I kid you not. Why is there always a bar or a tavern in a fantasy story? And why are the main characters starting fights in them? What if the main characters are underage? Admittedly, that doesn’t stop modern kids. But here’s three cliches in fantasy stories that I think should stop. 1. Everyone Has Swords Let’s face the facts. Swords are really expensive and take a long…

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Three People Walk Into A Bar…

…and it’s super cliché. I kid you not. Why is there always a bar or a tavern in a fantasy story? And why are the main characters starting fights in them? What if the main characters are underage? Admittedly, that doesn’t stop modern kids. But here’s three cliches in fantasy stories that I think should stop.

1. Everyone Has Swords
Let’s face the facts. Swords are really expensive and take a long time to make. And we’re just expecting peasants to randomly have swords available? They probably won’t. I want to see someone who fights with a pitchfork or something. Can we make this a reality? I think we should. Or give them a hammer. Or get them a sledgehammer even, mainly because that’s awesome. But please don’t give all of your heroes swords.

This one actually makes sense in context, because it’s a show of power. He didn’t just have all these swords lying around.

2. The Obviously Evil Badguy
Since we’re on the topic of bad guys, let’s talk about one that continues to bother me. Why are all the bad guys these ugly deformed things? I get the thought that deformity somehow equals corruption, but it’s just not right. Even Satan himself is considered the most attractive angel out there. He does not have horns. We gave him those.

That’s what’s so attractive about evil. It looks real good. So, if you want a really good novel that’s going to be remembered, make the reader question the good guys. It’s more fun that way.

3. A Great Lack of Variety
The Hobbit movie changed this up a bit, but I do have a qualm with Lord of the Rings. Gasp! With the father of all fantasy? How dare I! But here it is… all the elves and dwarves pretty much look the same. The elves all are prudes with smooth faces with blonde hair. The dwarves are all fat and bearded grumps. So I am thankful for the Hobbit movies in regard to changing that. Change things up!

DO YOU SEE THIS?! DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT?

I realize that I’ve not even put out a book and I’m telling you all how to write yours. I’m not speaking as a writer, I’m speaking as a reader. Books without the issues I’m describing are things I would love to read. I could always be wrong. Maybe fantasy needs these to be a good fantasy. But I don’t think so.

What cliches would YOU like to see removed from the fantasy genre? Tell me in the comments!

Inspired by the prompt Fill in the Blank.

I NEED To Write

Due to complications, we haven’t posted things for days. Here’s to make up for that.

vvampire elf

I’m going to do a bit of a rant, if you all don’t mind. I say that the second draft is different. I mention that a lot. But just howdifferent is different? Different enough that, honestly, if I don’t get my first chapter’s edits back, I’m just going to start rewriting within a couple days. So much has to be redone. All of it. I’m sure that I’m more interested in writing this than you all may be…

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I NEED To Write

I’m going to do a bit of a rant, if you all don’t mind. I say that the second draft is different. I mention that a lot. But just how different is different? Different enough that, honestly, if I don’t get my first chapter’s edits back, I’m just going to start rewriting within a couple days. So much has to be redone. All of it. I’m sure that I’m more interested in writing this than you all may be by reading it at this point, but it must get out there.

Continue reading “I NEED To Write”

*Insert Evil Laugh Here*

It’s only been five hours into my day and I’m already tired. This is what happens when I try to do writing while on break, my brain just doesn’t know what to do with itself.

It all seems to be revolving around one simple line from the novel, which for purposes which are to be seen later understood, needs to be revised or permanently kept the way it is very soon. The line, as implied by the title, is a line spoken by a being made to be the perfect antagonist. He is one without rules. one known worlds around as pure unadulterated evil. But how exactly does one reflect that in a single quote?

That is the question that plagues me. After all, the one who speaks the line has to see a good version of it. (Slight spoiler for its purpose, I know, which is coming later this month.) So I give it to the collective to read. We have writers and readers, scholars and common folk, mothers and fathers, businesspeople and artists, Americans and the rest of the world in my group of followers. I think between us all we should be able to get a good final line that works.

Here we go:

“What is good… but an ideal? Has a good man ever existed? None, not one; they yearn for that darker side of themselves, and it is darkness that I shall give them…”

“…And then break them.”

So there you have it. And thus concludes probably my shortest and concisest blog to date, but after all, it’s the comments I’m most interested in here.

Good evening, my friends!