What are your biggest dreams?

My biggest dream is to be a light to people who’ve been in a dark place like I have. I was in a really, really dark place during most all middle school and most of high school. I didn’t fully give myself to Christ till age 15. That’s why I draw dark things, write dark stories, because it’s what I would have read and viewed. I still like to read and view these kinds of things.

But I always put a light in the midst of the darkness, because there is. But that light is so, so hard to see when you’re in it unless you’re told otherwise by someone who’s gone through it already.

No matter what I do later in life, I’d like to reflect that light to the ones who need it most, and maybe, just maybe, they can do the same for someone else.

New Things Coming

I don’t intend to leave WordPress, as the people here are way too fun. But I will be doing some things differently. For instance, because I am a Fine Arts student, you’ll get to see some really sweet artwork. Like this!   Now because not everyone was able to get the meaning of the piece, the painting that I sketched this for will look a bit different. But I loved this sketch so much that I can’t…

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New Things Coming

I don’t intend to leave WordPress, as the people here are way too fun. But I will be doing some things differently. For instance, because I am a Fine Arts student, you’ll get to see some really sweet artwork. Like this!

 

Now because not everyone was able to get the meaning of the piece, the painting that I sketched this for will look a bit different. But I loved this sketch so much that I can’t just throw it away. I’m not sure what I’ll do with it, but I’ll figure it out. 
In other news, I am excited to announce that my first planned agency for the novel I’m working with is the same that did City of Bones! The second would be the agents behind Emmanuel’s Veins. It is easily one of my favorite books of all time, if not my favorite. Never heard of it? No worries! Because that will be this month’s “Read and Review”!

Faith Fridays: The Slough of Despair

We’re talking about a very hard thing today on Faith Friday: depression.

Today’s Faith Friday is about something rarely talked about in the church. What part does depression have in the life of a Christian? And furthermore, is it a sin to be depressed? The short answer? No. The long answer? It really depends on the situation, but for the most part it is not a sin to be depressed. I want to encourage those who struggle with depression – even Christ was distressed with…

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Faith Fridays: The Slough of Despair

Today’s Faith Friday is about something rarely talked about in the church. What part does depression have in the life of a Christian? And furthermore, is it a sin to be depressed?

The short answer? No.

The long answer? It really depends on the situation, but for the most part it is not a sin to be depressed. I want to encourage those who struggle with depression – even Christ was distressed with the situation of the world. Take Luke 19: 41 – 44 for example. He is actually crying because they aren’t seeing what’s right in front of them – a Savior. He weeped over his dead friend. It is not a bad thing to be sad or depressed. The world is in a sinful state. Bad things are happening. People are dying and in pain and suffering. It is not wrong to be distressed about the state of the world around us. It is not wrong to want a perfect world, as that is what we were made for.

I’m Going Insane (And That Just Might Be Ok)

When I first decided to leave two months for giving my novel Dark Soldier to someone else for reading and editing, I did not realize just how long two months is to someone who probably has A.D.D. but hasn’t been checked.
Referring to me.
I’m slowly losing my mind.

Now I’m just left to college life and I realize how boring that is in general. I think perhaps I write to get out of the current world for just a short amount of time. Writing is like a more stressful version of reading, as you’re the one making the story, not just reading it. Only you have to make people exist or not exist. I don’t think many realize this.

So now what is there to life but making friends and studying? Not much it seems. Occasionally, there’s the games of Magic to help, but now I am faced with the facts.

I am nearly alone, but for a few friends to keep me company. That’s enough to drive anyone insane, but I’ve realized something. That’s ok. I’m really and truly becoming more and more all right with that. Because admittedly I know that each and every one of my friends that stick by me will do it through thick and thin. It makes me happy to realize that no matter what I do, they will love me to death. Maybe I misconstrue the facts a little, but that is certainly the case for some. And if they don’t, then that is fine as well, because I know One who will. No religious hate in the comments, please. It turns into spam really quickly.

Until the book is all done editing, I have time to contemplate my favorite things of all time, the things that do make me happy in spite of a chronic depression that threatens to pierce every fiber of existence.

I am happy because of friends who will stick with me through all things.

I am happy because of an upcoming season, namely Christmas, in which the world seems to forget all hate for a while. Even the music is always high-spirited!

I am happy because of dubstep, because whether its good or not it, that bass is going to vibrate into your very soul.

I am happy because… Jesus. Yup. I said it.

I am happy because I have a shower close-by which I can pump to a nearly scalding heat, which apparently bothers most people, although I love it. I realize many people don’t have that, and through charities I get to be involved in occasionally, I work to change that.

I am happy because I have super chill R.A.s in my college who don’t care that I’m basically nocturnal.

I am happy because even when I’m not, I’ve come to know the dark valleys well enough to know that those peaks of happiness are going to be cray.

I am happy because even though we’re not allowed to have pets, I have a small kitty waiting for me when I get home.

I am happy because I have stopped caring what people think of me in general. Haters gonna hate.

I am happy because I realize I actually don’t have to be something amazing to be loved. I’m not a fun person to be around all the time, and I don’t have the world’s greatest or even most non-hypocritical personality, but that’s ok. No one does.

I am happy because although people are pretty while alive, their skeletons look really cool in death. It’s a win-win.

I am happy because even if you don’t appreciate the gothic things as much as I do, we can still be friends!

Share the happiness today, write down what makes YOU happy!