So I think it’s well known that I hate killing off characters, but if I think it is needed in the plot, then I do so. For the final draft, I will get around to killing off a certain main character that I refused to kill off in the previous drafts. It just seemed ridiculous to me that they stayed alive, really. I only kept them alive because of how scared I was to kill them. It changes the plot of the second book slightly, but it’s important that it happens. Otherwise, it’s not realistic and the whole point of the story is not as compelling.
I REALLY hate myself for doing this. The fans will probably hate me just as much, but I can live with that.
To end this off nicely, for the final draft, I will finally do what I proudly proclaimed I would do initially. Now, half of the book is from the protagonist’s perspective and the other half is from the antagonist’s perspective.
Basically, what I’m telling you is that there is now no antagonist or protagonist. There are just warring sides. And really, that’s what I should have done all along.
Sometimes, I try to tell myself that I do not enjoy killing characters in my book. I really don’t think I do.
Then I remember that I’m killing off about ten main/secondary characters in total, and the second draft isn’t even done.
We won’t even go into the amounts of innocents that die throughout this book and its series. It just goes to show that peace doesn’t happen without sacrifice. At least not very often.
It’s not a thing I’m necessarily proud of. I suppose it’s good that I am letting myself have more control of the story without letting emotions get in the way. The original version had only three main/secondary character deaths. I still am letting emotions get in the way a bit. I crafted them, after all. I gave them a personality, a physical appearance, a backstory, a goal, and sent them on their way. But I still give them free will. If I were to step in too often to save them, it wouldn’t be a very good story. The situations that come about basically require people to die. People are going to be people. Even if they’re made out of ink and words.
Yes, I still get upset at killing characters. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the last three deaths, as I haven’t actually written them yet. And because of it, the entire saga changes. Who knows how things are going to go after this? I didn’t plan around these deaths incredibly well, so even I don’t fully know. But at very least it will be interesting.
Until then I’m going to just going to go insane from the suspense of knowing I will eventually have to write those deaths. I really liked those characters. A lot. But I was already insane, so it’s not to much of a problem.
The paradox is real.