Breaking And Smashing Things

I am so excited. After my newest book editing/writing session, I edited about five pages and removed thirteen. Things like this happen in the second draft. It was really just pages of them walking and saying unnecessary things. I could’ve done it better without all the info-dumping. I really have no problems with info-dumping, if done properly; it just made no sense where I did it.

So why the title? Why are we breaking and smashing things? I think the better question is “what are we breaking and smashing”, rather than “why”, but that’s my own personal opinion. Really, I’m just writing the book that I have been waiting to read. And to do that, we need to break some things.

1. The Fourth Wall
I think we have kept that fourth wall up long enough in our literature. Like, goodness, what do you expect me to yell at, the ceiling? I’m surrounded by walls here. I’m going to break that fourth one a bit. So yeah, I may just start chatting with you in the middle of the novel. That is my version of info-dumping.
(P.S., I do not suggest that everyone start breaking the fourth wall in their novels and have random narrator-to-reader discussions. I have no idea how this is going to work. If it doesn’t, I’ll… probably still do it but I won’t get as much money.)

2. The Rules
I don’t know why we have so many silly rules. No epilogue, no third person omniscient, no important magic, no info dumping, no unsympathetic characters – it’s all just too much. I have an epilogue and it doesn’t even have the same tense style. I have a third person omniscient and I’m going to more than likely keep it that way. I info dump occasionally and I do it with pride. I have a rather unsympathetic antagonist and a bunch of semi-anti-hero protagonists. Magic is not in the background – it’s the plot. I do not like boxes. Or cages. Or barriers. That’s mainly because my power level is secretly over 9000.

C. Expectations
I already mentioned that the main characters are semi-anti-hero. It’s not so much that they don’t care about people. It is that they will do anything to complete their mission. In simple terms, the hero is often just as ruthless as the villain. I do not like writing for boy scouts. I do not have anything against boy scouts, as I have a friend who is one (literally). My beef is with a character who is, in a word, perfect. They do the right thing all the time. They do not ever think that maybe the other side has some good points. They feel like drones. They serve their purpose, but I don’t think I need one for this book.

Also, the elves have guns. Because that’s honestly really cool.

4. Stereotypes
I don’t like them anymore. I tried to stay by them somewhat for a while, just so that the characters seemed somewhat realistic and not too “out there”. But in light of actual realism, I don’t need them at all. I let the characters be whoever they want to be. Most stereotypes are wrong a good portion of the time anyway. Free-range things are tastier anyway. Not that we should eat the characters, but you know what I mean.

5. The Trilogy Cycle
This series is going to be four books. That is all. Trilogies are cool and all, but they are too small. A world should exist in more than three books. Just because Tolkien did it doesn’t necessarily mean you should. Tolkien is pretty awesome, but I don’t think even he would want you to copy everything he does. That, my friend, is called plagiarism, and is frowned upon in most societies.

And that’s really all about it. You probably have lots of questions now. Will Gabriel ever get this book done? Will he eventually stop telling and re-telling us that he’s breaking barriers with this book? Will he someday put out a sneak peak of the book that’s over a paragraph long? Will he finally learn how to properly end a blog post? Is his power level really over nine thousand?! Find out on the next episode of… Dragonball Z!

Wait, that didn’t end right.