The World of Vine

I decided that I should try out getting a Vine. We’ll see how it works out.

See vine below and follow Gabriel Penn!

Coke or Pepsi?

So, interesting story. It’s totally true, by the way. And it’s short. The holy trinity of a good story.

We were out at lunch the other day with my nephews and nieces, and we were set to order. Specifically, we were ordering drinks.

Normally, if we are going out to eat, I’ll order a soda because we don’t go out too often. A special occasion ought to be celebrated in my mind. And if we’re celebrating, then I’m treating myself. But, although I love a good cold Coca-Cola, I don’t bother ordering it. At least here in America, it seems like most restaurants don’t serve it. You can ask for a Coke all you want, and they’ll always answer, “Is Pepsi ok?” They know it’s not ok that they’re depriving the world of a heavenly beverage, but they ask it anyway. Maybe they just see me coming and worry that I’ll drink it all. Admittedly, that probably wouldn’t be wrong. Either way, I order a Pepsi when I’m out.

But. BUT. This time something odd happened. She asked what I wanted, and I said “Pepsi”. She then replied, “We don’t have any Pepsi right now. Is Coke okay?

My eyes nearly welled up. This has never happened before, nor probably ever will again to me. But I responded calmly, “sure.” Inside I was singing praises. And I did get that Coke.

So, this is an encouragement to all the Coke lovers out there.

There is now hope.

(To all those severely worried about my mental health after reading this, yes, I am aware that there is not much difference between Coke and Pepsi. I grew up in a Coca-Cola-loving family, and therefore it is nostalgic to me. Allow me this moment of joy.)

Bred for Fantasy

Since I’m basically back-tracking for these next few days, I decided to do a whole blog on what exactly got me to be such a huge fantasy nerd as I am today. To do that, we must start at the very beginning.

Birth: Both my parents are huge nerds in their own way. My mum is big into Star Trek and my dad is into Star Wars. My mum loves Narnia and my dad loves Lord of the Rings. I don’t think he’s read the whole series but at very least he’s seen all the movies multiple times. I have no idea how they manage under the same roof, but they do it anyway.

Age 6: My mum reads my brothers “the Hobbit” while I listen in. Being that young, I probably shouldn’t have. Do you know how much the great and majestic Thorin Oakenshield’s death traumatises a six-year-old? Do you?

Actually, if you don’t know, that’s ok. Few do. If you don’t know that he died… I’d say sorry, but that book’s been out for nearly a century now. You should really catch up on these sorts of things.

Anyway, just so that you know, that messed me up for years. 

But it got me a really good start into fantasy, so I’m not too upset about it.

Age 9: My parents get the entire Narnia series on audiobook. I become obsessed and listen to the whole thing about fifteen times. Oh, and the books? I read each book about three times. I had some issues with self-control. I mean, I still have those issues, but I used to have them, too.

Age 11: I read my first full novel, Eragon. I adore it and won’t even put it down while walking through Wal-Mart. I read the second book very soon after. I heard how the author was only fifteen years old when he published Eragon. Interesting.

Age 15: I try my hand at short stories. I make one in particular that my family loves – a story about three American and one Canadian soldier travelling through strange alternate dimensions, which turned out to just be my brothers and my cousin playing make-believe. Basically, it was Suckerpunch‘s dream sequences with guys instead of girls.

Trust me, if I had thought of this at age 15, he’d have been in the story, too. It was weird.

They tell me it should be longer. I promise to do so, eventually.

Now: I have finally finished the first draft of Dark Soldier, which looks nothing like its original version except for two characters from the original. But it’s been an epically awesome journey up until this point, I’ll give it that. And I’m finally going to be reading the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy coming this year. It’s just embarrassing that I haven’t.

For those interested in checking out the book, click here to go to the book’s official Facebook page.

And once again, I’ve made what could’ve been a short blog very long and drawn out. It’s like I took a medium-sized children’s novel and stretched it into three movies. But no, that’s just ridiculous. I mean, what kind of crazy person would do that?

Madder With Three: A Sequel

I said I would make a sequel to Madness, so I did! I’m not sure what I think of it, though, but neither do they, so it all balances out. 

[Enter one thing and the other. A third joins them.]

One thing:      Welcome, third!

The other:      Third, very welcome!

A third:           Indeed, third welcome.

One thing:      But you were already welcomed.

The other:      Twice welcomed, you were.

A third:           But I welcome myself as well, you see. Safety first.

One thing:      A most excellent point.

The other:      But we haven’t.

A third:           We really ought to at some point.

One thing:     That’s the idea.

The other:      But when?

One thing:      Yes?

A third:           Precisely.

The other:      No, not me, just some.

A third:           So, some other point, then?

One thing:      No, at some point.

The other:      But when should we?

One thing:      I most say so.

A third:           But not all, really.

One thing:      No. That would be silly!

A third:           We wouldn’t have time.

The other:      Time for what?

A third:           Not yet, but soon.

One thing:     Well, you mustn’t be late.

The other:     It’s an important date.

A third:          A what?

The other:     Quite.

A third:          I hadn’t thought of that.

One thing:     Nor had I.

The other:     Had you what?

One thing:     I’m not really sure.

A third:          Sure of what?

One thing:     Nope.

A third:          Distressing, I’d say.

The other:     But you just did.

A third:          Did what?

One thing:     No, you did.

The other:     Whatever did he do?

A third:          I’m not sure.

One thing:     Who is?

The other:     No, she isn’t.

A third:          Really?

One thing:     Shocking!

The other:     What is?

One thing:     I’d rather you not.

A third:          It would be painful.

The other:     Agreed. More tea?

A third:         Certainly.

One thing:    Certainly.

Madness: A Short, Strange Story

This is an an old little thing I wrote a couple years ago. It was finals then too, and I was heavily sleep-deprived. Oh goodness! I may have to write a sequel!

Thing 1: What?
Thing 2: Oh, nothing.
Thing 1: Nothing at all?
Thing 2: Some sort of nothing, I should say.
Thing 1: So something as well as nothing?
Thing 2: No, just nothing of something.
Thing 1: I say…
Thing 2: Say what?
Thing 1: Yes.
Thing 2: What?
Thing 1: None of that.
Thing 2: None of what?
Thing 1: Yes.
Thing 2: We don’t have any of what? We really ought to.
Thing 1: I should say so.
Thing 2: But you haven’t?
Thing 1: I just did.
Thing 2: What?
Thing 1: Say so.
Thing 2: Not you!
Thing 1: Not me?
Thing 2: Of course not!
Thing 1: Fine then, I won’t!
Thing 2: Won’t what?
Thing 1: Say so!
Thing 2: But you just did.
Thing 1: Did what?
Thing 2: Yes.
Thing 1: Oh, I’d forgotten.
Thing 2: As had I. What are we forgetting?
Thing 1: How should I know?
Thing 2: I don’t know.
Thing 1: Me neither.
Thing 2: No, you’re not neither.
Thing 1: Then what am I?
Thing 2: What.
Thing 1: I’m what?
Thing 2: Yes.
Thing 1: And you? What are you?
Thing 2: No, you are.
Thing 1: I know, but which are you?
Thing 2: I don’t really know.
Thing 1: Neither do I.
Thing 2: No, I don’t really know.
Thing 1: Oh, you don’t?
Thing 2: No, I don’t really know.
Thing 1: Nor do I.
Thing 2: You don’t understand. More tea?
Thing 1: Certainly.