Hollywood Did It Again.

I don’t always get to do super long rants over Tumblr, so let me do one really quickly. If you don’t like rants, I would implore you read this anyway, but if you must, scroll down very quickly.

I am really really pissed off about the Gods of Egypt cast. This entire movie has got to be a joke. I don’t plan to watch the movie for a few reasons.

The first and most important of all is that we have a bunch of British white dudes as the main characters. It’s a movie about Egyptian gods. So please tell me, why are their gods white?

Let me show you some wall carvings of ancient Egyptian gods:

Tell me, how many of these look vaguely white-skinned to you? That’s right, TWO. TWO OF THEM. And they’re actually more of a bronze-skin if you look in most of their drawings.

Now, with the knowledge of how they look up top, please let us observe some of these movie posters.

Oh, look down. ONE not-white person so far. Great. +1 for Hollywood diversity!

*sarcasm alert*

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WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY HAPPENED.

WAS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO FIND ACTUAL EGYPTIAN ACTORS TO FIT YOUR MAIN ROLES?

WAS IT REALLY?

Now, I am not against all white people. I am white. Nor am I against white people in films.

But this… this does not even make sense. After that complete disaster that was Exodus: Gods and Kings, who let this guy make another historical movie? Who?

NOW ANOTHER THING that is pissing me off: not only are they not Egyptian, they do not look even vaguely like the gods they are supposed to be!

Think about it. They could actually make them look really cool if they stuck with the animals heads as they are originally portrayed. Even if it was just a mask or a helmet, that could be awesome! But they didn’t even try! They gave them capes. CAPES.

If they had just listened to my good friend Edna Mode, they could have been spared so many things. In fact, they look far better without them!

I am not against modernizing characters from ancient tales, but this is just ridiculous. Let me show you how awesome it could be if they kept it close to the originals but modernized slightly (ignore the cape):

NOW THAT LOOKS LIKE A GOD.

Oh, wait, there’s MORE beautiful art they could base it off of.

And for my personal favorite style:

But they didn’t do any of these. I can’t even imagine a good reason that they didn’t do it this way!

If you are going to make a movie about someone’s culture, do not completely disrespect the culture in doing so. And I think they have. So please, don’t watch this movie. Maybe I’m a bit more disgusted than I need to be, but I don’t think so.

Gabriel Penn, out.