I’m Going Insane (And That Just Might Be Ok)

When I first decided to leave two months for giving my novel Dark Soldier to someone else for reading and editing, I did not realize just how long two months is to someone who probably has A.D.D. but hasn’t been checked.
Referring to me.
I’m slowly losing my mind.

Now I’m just left to college life and I realize how boring that is in general. I think perhaps I write to get out of the current world for just a short amount of time. Writing is like a more stressful version of reading, as you’re the one making the story, not just reading it. Only you have to make people exist or not exist. I don’t think many realize this.

So now what is there to life but making friends and studying? Not much it seems. Occasionally, there’s the games of Magic to help, but now I am faced with the facts.

I am nearly alone, but for a few friends to keep me company. That’s enough to drive anyone insane, but I’ve realized something. That’s ok. I’m really and truly becoming more and more all right with that. Because admittedly I know that each and every one of my friends that stick by me will do it through thick and thin. It makes me happy to realize that no matter what I do, they will love me to death. Maybe I misconstrue the facts a little, but that is certainly the case for some. And if they don’t, then that is fine as well, because I know One who will. No religious hate in the comments, please. It turns into spam really quickly.

Until the book is all done editing, I have time to contemplate my favorite things of all time, the things that do make me happy in spite of a chronic depression that threatens to pierce every fiber of existence.

I am happy because of friends who will stick with me through all things.

I am happy because of an upcoming season, namely Christmas, in which the world seems to forget all hate for a while. Even the music is always high-spirited!

I am happy because of dubstep, because whether its good or not it, that bass is going to vibrate into your very soul.

I am happy because… Jesus. Yup. I said it.

I am happy because I have a shower close-by which I can pump to a nearly scalding heat, which apparently bothers most people, although I love it. I realize many people don’t have that, and through charities I get to be involved in occasionally, I work to change that.

I am happy because I have super chill R.A.s in my college who don’t care that I’m basically nocturnal.

I am happy because even when I’m not, I’ve come to know the dark valleys well enough to know that those peaks of happiness are going to be cray.

I am happy because even though we’re not allowed to have pets, I have a small kitty waiting for me when I get home.

I am happy because I have stopped caring what people think of me in general. Haters gonna hate.

I am happy because I realize I actually don’t have to be something amazing to be loved. I’m not a fun person to be around all the time, and I don’t have the world’s greatest or even most non-hypocritical personality, but that’s ok. No one does.

I am happy because although people are pretty while alive, their skeletons look really cool in death. It’s a win-win.

I am happy because even if you don’t appreciate the gothic things as much as I do, we can still be friends!

Share the happiness today, write down what makes YOU happy!

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